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you all are assholes! anyways, please donate to my gofundm

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hey Big Government!!!! you may be able to ban Vape Juice but you can't stop me from vapeing the Ocean's!!!

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GoT prediction from someone who never watched the series 

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:red_mastodon: Sorry, You Must Be A Mastodon Ivory® Member To View This Toot!

:promoted: Promoted

Dale G. boosted

choose

Their Trying To I'm Peach The President And I'm Just Here Trying To Eat A Damn Whopper!!!

:promoted: Sponsored by Burger King

Dale G. boosted
Dale G. boosted

The customers at my new small business “Cheapo Tattoo House” are very upset with me. one yelp review gives us two stars and the only thing they wrote is “he can’t really draw horses”

the perfect birthday gift? well, I don't want to drop any hints BUT...

Dale G. boosted

@brogepi
Bernie hired me to stretch his skin across his forehead like a drum. I had to pin the excess to the back of his neck

Dale G. boosted

*on stage*
ME: cis people stink!
*applause, chanting*
ME: why is it that every enby and trans person has faded out dyed hair? don't you go to the salon or someth-
*is immediately pelted with tomatoes*

hey @Subway why don't u respond to me u little wuss. tell jared im gonna give him a swirlie in ur bathroom

Dale G. boosted

*2020 debate*
TRUMP: socialism is bad
SANDERS: *deftly elucidates policy positions*
TRUMP: what about your smooth-ass forehead boi
SANDERS: *visibly sweating, nervously drinks water*

Dale G. boosted
Dale G. boosted

In 7th grade I was sent home by administration for being a suspected gang member and I used the free time to participate in an ARG for the Halo fps video game franchise

Dale G. boosted

Ima get my dick sucked clean off my body this weekend Hell no im not registered to vote

Dale G. boosted

choose

Dale G. boosted

pick up the "Performance" slider. much easier than learning Windows, you nerds aren't doing anything special

Dale G. boosted

Mastodon posters like to claim that they're thick skinned, yet I lose 5 followers simply by posting "wishing all the on this site a Happy International Men's Day,"

:bing: bernie sanders botox forehead george soros deep state

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