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:bing: how too pronounce cumin why is waitress laughing

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you all are assholes! anyways, please donate to my gofundm

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hey Big Government!!!! you may be able to ban Vape Juice but you can't stop me from vapeing the Ocean's!!!

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:red_mastodon: Sorry, You Must Be A Mastodon Ivory® Member To View This Toot!

:promoted: Promoted

we had planned to move 2500 miles across the country for a new job next week
they just laid me off

they can make more money
they can't make more you

:bing: will removing my ribs make me immune to the virus as a side benefit

Dale G. boosted

if you choose "elbows" kraft mac and cheese you're a fucking moron. get bent, loser

ok, who decided that "cut the cheese" should be slang for flatulence. no cheese I know of makes that sound when sliced,

:bing: can I write in sheldon from big bang theory

Dale G. boosted

Some of y’all forgot about Dre, and it shows

Dale G. boosted

every corporate job I've had follows the same pattern: 

(1) get hired
(2) kick immense ass
(3) management "can't promote you" - but "stay motivated!"
(4) effortlessly onboard manager's workloads to prove you could do their job better
(5) manager develops immense fear, starts undermining you, makes you "team lead"
(6) be miserable, threaten to leave
(7) submit resignation
(8) management hastily offers that "impossible" promotion
(9) years later you hear "it all went to shit after you left"

Dale G. boosted
Dale G. boosted

:bing: bing search not working computeer broke

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