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justifying my worth as a human being by trying to seduce the McDonald's CEO

Dale G. boosted

Would love to see who the Deadspin owner had been talking to with the lead up to him killing Deadspin

:bing: epic rap battles of history hitler versus santa claus

:bing: imagined dragons radio active cell phone ring tone

:bing: how too get rid of unlicensed copy of windows message

:bing: is buffalo wild wings waitress hitting on me

Dale G. boosted

@LuigiEsq $85 designer blue jeans: come in three sizes, belt loops don’t fit your only belt, spontaneously tear a hole in the knee while you’re driving apropos of nothing

$20 Old Navy jeans on sale for $10: come in every size known to man, last four years of regular wear maybe more before they even start to fade their colors

Dale G. boosted

/▌This is Jeb Copy & Paste Him
/ \ So He Can Take All Your Teeth

Dale G. boosted

/▌This is Jay Copy & Paste Him
/ \ So He Can Take Over Mastodon

Dale G. boosted

:bing: fort night officially best video game ever or no

Dale G. boosted

BOOMERS: no free rides for millennials! they took out the loans, they owe the full amount!
BOOMERS, ALSO: *calls Optima Tax Relief to settle their IRS debts for pennies on the dollar*

Dale G. boosted

gimme the beat boys
and free my soul
I wanna get lost
in your Pizza Rolls™

:promoted: Sponsored by Totino's®

Dale G. boosted

did you hear the news about the guy who fell in a vat of molten glass at the eyeglasses factory? really made a spectacle of himself

Dale G. boosted

DST fucking sucks shit why is it completely dark outside at 6pm this is ass and everyone who ever said it's fine is also ass. eat my dick

police, attorneys, lawyers

these people will not help you

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ME: *wins formal complaint against attorney, gets their license suspended*
ME: *wins small claims court case for legal fees*
ME: "hello county court I would like help getting the scumbag to pay me"
COUNTY COURT: "lol we don't do that"

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