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Dale G. boosted

the local amusement park is closing and Facebook boomers are regaling each other with stories like "haha remember that time I shut the car ride down for a day because I put a stick under the cars? good times. I'll miss that place"

Dale G. boosted

THEORY: @laser is actually Andrew W.K. but is actively trying to throw us off the scent

Hey @larrydavis I challenge you to a video game Competition,

Dale G. boosted

Me, swiping the keyboard recklessly: "personal"

The keyboard: you know what word you meant? You meant the commonly used word "passional", you're welcome

Dale G. boosted

I’m 19, engaged, and just closed on this house. Your mindset is the only limit to what you can achieve

Watching the American Rescue Dog Show because I'm a sucker

Dale G. boosted

Do you even need to put nutrition facts on mineral water?

Dale G. boosted

Me, walking up to a non-gamer couple: So which one of you is Player 1 and which one is Player 2?

Dale G. boosted

Hey do you think I can go here if I haven't been to sports 1-3?

Dale G. boosted

nutting in my instance's board room meeting by tooting "the goose is fascist

Medicare For All will get rid of the ads where an attractive blonde white woman in her early 40s claims that an insurance company you pay $400 to per month is "breaking down the silos to your comprehensive care"

it's almost like people don't really care about policy positions and are instead mesmerized by the fallacy that billionaires are much better at life than the rest of us

Dale G. boosted

I pay noted Influencer Michael Bloomberg $150 a post to talk about how funny my toots are

Dale G. boosted

1st day on Mastodon: hi everyone, I'm interested in art, architecture, and cat pics!! 😊

3rd day on Mastodon: gonna find bigfoot and fuck him

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Mastodon

This instance of Mastodon is only for @buffaloser.